Introduction
When I first arrived at my new company and got my Outlook set up, an email popped up in my inbox asking for volunteers to speak at their internal Dev Day, I had a rough topic in mind and submitted it without a second thought and doubted I’d be chosen to speak. Spoiler alert, I was.
In all seriousness I’d wanted to challenge myself and speak in front of a crowd and I thought this looked like a great opportunity to throw myself under the proverbial bus and present on a topic I’m genuinely interested in. Human code, or as normal people might refer to it, psychology.
About 3 years ago in a moment of deep introspection, bordering on an existential crisis I was drawing parallels between how my brain works and how code works. Wondering about the parts of me that I had ‘coded’ which I think like most of us was spaghetti code written at the hands of an angsty teenager with very little experience, and the parts of me that had been coded by other contributors. You see because we’re all somewhat open source. I figured there had to be some refactoring necessary before I became a legacy system.
I got to reading, most notably and what led me to giving this talk I read:
- Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden
- Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck
- Grit: Why Passion and Resilience are the Secrets to Success by Angela Duckworth (Not covered here but worth a mention!)
More than reading, I started writing — trying to untangle some of the loops in my thinking. And I started noticing how much of what holds people back isn’t a lack of technical skills, but a lack of something harder to measure: soft-skills, specifically I learnt about self-esteem and mindset.
More than reading, I started writing — trying to untangle some of the loops in my thinking. And I started noticing how much of what holds people back isn’t a lack of technical skills, but a lack of something harder to measure: soft-skills, specifically I learnt about self-esteem and mindset.
If you’ve ever struggled with perfectionism or imposter syndrome — and let’s be honest, in tech, who hasn’t — these two skills can be transformative. Self-esteem helps you feel okay even when you’re not perfect, while a growth mindset reframes failure as feedback. Together, they provide a tangible solution to these problems.
Sure, there’s a lot of other soft-skills I could have spoken about, but I feel that these two are a foundation upon which the others can be built. First, we’ll look at why soft skills are more important than ever. Then we’ll break down what self-esteem and growth mindset are and wrap up with some practical tips that you can apply.
I’m sure I’m not alone in saying, some of these existential crises I’ve had were induced by the never-ending onslaught of information and changing technologies in our field. It feels like every morning there’s a new headline screaming about a groundbreaking AI that can solve the mystery of quantum entanglement and center a div with CSS. Lies I tell you. The perfectionist in me wanted to get good at something that WOULDN’T change. I thought to myself, what are going to be the most valuable skills a few years from now? And whilst I’m certain Java and Kubernetes aren’t going anywhere, and soft skills have ALWAYS been incredibly valuable, I believe their stock is going to increase drastically in the wake of AI, and I’m not alone in this train of thought.
Why Soft Skills Matter More Than Ever
In a world of rapidly advancing tech, where AI can write essays and (allegedly) center a div with CSS, it’s hard to know where to focus your efforts and what to learn. The skills that make us most valuable going forward may be the ones machines can’t replicate.
According to the World Economic Forum, nearly half of all core work skills are expected to change over the next few years. Among the top five in demand? Leadership, social influence, adaptability.
LinkedIn CEO Ryan Roslansky puts it simply:
“The most in-demand skill that people are looking for right now are people skills, human skills, communication, collaboration, compassion, empathy. The things that you need that are truly human, that can’t be automated out.”
I don’t believe we’re about to vibe-code our way into the future, and I don’t think engineers with deep technical skills are going anywhere. I see this more like the next level of abstraction. There’ll be a wave of developers who shift into roles that involve working with AI — focusing more on collaboration, automation and decision-making — while another group of deeply technical engineers will remain essential (still utilizing these same skills) and probably getting paid more as the pool of people who can do what they do, shrinks. Kind of like how COBOL engineers became unicorns in the banking industry — only cooler, and hopefully with better documentation.
Anyways, back on track…
Understanding Self-Esteem
We often confuse self-esteem with confidence. But while confidence is task-specific (“I can write this code”) and represents your trust in your ability to do something, self-esteem runs deeper. It’s your overall sense of worth — how okay you are with yourself even when you fail.
Nathaniel Branden, a pioneer in the psychology of self-esteem, described it as “the reputation we acquire with ourselves.” It’s not about being perfect. It’s about how you treat yourself when you’re not.
One key pillar Branden writes about is Self-Assertiveness — the belief that your thoughts and ideas are valuable and deserve to be shared, to value and express your thoughts and ideas authentically. How many times have you stayed quiet in a meeting, even though you had an idea? Not because it wasn’t good, but because you feared being wrong or misunderstood.
Learning to honor your voice, even when it’s uncertain, is how innovative ideas are born — and how we grow ownership over the solutions we help build.
Understanding Mindset
Carol Dweck, a Stanford psychologist, spent over 30 years studying why some people thrive in the face of challenges while others shut down. Her answer? Mindset.
People with a fixed mindset believe their intelligence and talent are static. They equate performance with identity — which leads them to avoid effort. After all, if you were really smart, why would you need to try?
In contrast, those with a growth mindset believe their abilities can be developed through effort and learning. They seek feedback, embrace challenge, and bounce back from setbacks more quickly.
In tech, where tools evolve and knowledge constantly shifts, this mindset isn’t just helpful — it’s essential. Saying “I can’t do this yet” instead of “I can’t do this” reframes learning as part of your identity, not a threat to it.
The Link Between Self-Esteem, Mindset, and Other Soft Skills
Let’s connect the dots. Here’s how self-esteem and growth mindset empower the soft skills we all rely on:
1. Communication
- Growth mindset keeps you open to feedback rather than defensive.
- When you trust that your voice matters, you speak up.
- Self-esteem gives you the courage to express your thoughts clearly and honestly.
2. Collaboration
- When you’re not second-guessing your value, it’s easier to listen and contribute meaningfully.
- Believing in your capacity to grow makes you more supportive of others’ growth too.
3. Leadership
- You don’t need to be perfect to lead – just willing to learn and act.
- Self-esteem gives you internal permission to step forward.
- Growth mindset helps you lead without knowing all the answers.
4. Adaptability
When your worth isn’t tied to being right all the time, change feels less threatening.
- When your worth isn’t tied to being right all the time, change feels less threatening.
- You approach new tools or shifting specs with curiosity, not fear.
- You learn – and re-learn – without burning out.
How to Build Self-Esteem
We’ve talked a lot about the what and why — so let’s talk about the how. Here are a few ways to strengthen your internal sense of worth:
- Practice Self-Compassion
Talk to yourself the way you would a close friend who’s struggling.
Criticising yourself for every misstep only deepens negative loops.
Rewriting your internal script starts with kindness. - Set and Achieve Small Goals
Self-esteem is built on consistency. Following through on small commitments builds self-trust – it’s the emotional equivalent of shipping small but meaningful commits. - Seek Constructive Feedback
Feedback isn’t a character judgment. It’s a tool – like a pull request comment – meant to help you improve, not invalidate you.
How to Develop a Growth Mindset
Now on to mindset. This is about subtle shifts in your thinking habits that lead to meaningful changes in how you view challenges and opportunities.
- Embrace Challenges
Instead of backing away when things feel unfamiliar, lean in. Growth lives on the edge of discomfort. - Celebrate Effort Over Outcome
It’s not about ignoring results, but valuing the process that got you there. Mistakes are just milestones in disguise. - Reflect and Reframe
After a tough sprint or a failed demo, ask: What can I learn here? Not: What’s wrong with me? - Use the “Not Yet” Rule
“I can’t solve this bug” becomes “I can’t solve this bug yet.” That one word keeps the door open for learning. - Surround Yourself with Growth-Oriented People
Environment matters. If you’re in a space like Entelect, observe and learn from those around you — and you’ll grow, too.
Conclusion: The Developer’s TL;DR
If there’s any evidence that these two skills have the power to help you grow, it’s that I was able to apply them and stand up to talk in front of my new company (+- 1600 people). Before giving this talk, my inner monologue might have looked something like:
“Someone else has way more experience than I do — why should anyone listen to me. I probably only got asked because no one else volunteered…”
But adopting a growth mindset changed that to:
“I’m not the most experienced person here, but I do have something valuable to share. If this talk helps even one person, that’s a win.”
And I still feel like an imposter, sure. But that voice is a little quieter now, in favor of one that helps me grow.
TL;DR (Dev Edition)
When you invest in your internal codebase, clean up some legacy beliefs, patch your self-esteem, and install a solid growth mindset — you become more resilient, easier to collaborate with, and far less likely to crash under pressure. A growth mindset helps you iterate and keep you shipping better versions of yourself, instead of hardcoding your limitations. Self-esteem gives you a stable runtime so you don’t throw errors every time something breaks. And imposter syndrome? That’s just a pesky overly critical linter and it doesn’t stop the build unless you let it.
If you managed to get to the end here, congrats on the impressive attention span. If you’ve got any ideas or thoughts for me, reach out to me on LinkedIn, I’m always interested in exploring new ideas and I’m open to feedback. Until next time.
Thanks for reading!
By Duncan Forssman - Software Engineer
